Organizer | Advocate
Today is day 15 of my self-isolation due to the coronavirus pandemic. I am an activist, organizer, and immunocompromised human living in one of the nation’s epicenters of the virus — Chicago, Illinois. Today (day 15) is the day that I decided to embrace my new reality. I have spent the past two weeks wishing that I wasn’t alone here in my apartment, wishing I was driving fast away from this place… wishing for ‘anything but’ this. But it is time to come to grips with the fact that as an immunocompromised person living in an urban center where this epidemic will only get worse — this is my world for the indefinite future. And here are my thoughts.
I have been thinking about a powerful image I came across the other day.
As seen at The Bronx Zoo (NYC) in 1963, an exhibit:
It read, “You are looking at the most dangerous animal in the world. It alone of all the animals that ever lived can exterminate (and has) entire species of animals. Now it has the power to wipe out all life on earth.”
The patron saw their own reflection; it was a mirror with bars on it.
Feeling introspective today… things have been real quiet here at Casa East.
Had some intense memories come up this past weekend, which were revealed after doing some workbook exercises related to attachment theory. Basically, the exercise involved documenting feelings that were coming up and then reflecting upon when I first recall having similar feelings… mine in this case started at age 2. These revelations can be overwhelming, because not only is the memory itself traumatic — I actually feel a deep sense of loss and mourning for myself as a child.
Not sure if it is good or bad that I am revisiting forgotten memories, but I am grateful for the time to reflect. Thinking about where you have been and why you are who you are can’t be a bad thing, right?
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Getting ready to take a drive up to Milwaukee to deliver Phil’s birthday present. I’m a little nervous as I haven’t: A) driven very much in the past two months, B) haven’t visited Phil in Milwaukee in several months, and C) Wisconsin’s supreme court has overturned their safer-at-home order, so not sure if people there are practicing social distancing. Preparing my mask, gloves and hand sanitizer as we speak!
Glad to take a day off work and get out of dodge though.
Today’s episode of Democracy Now! was incredible, and well overdue. It covered the impact the COVID-19 pandemic on mental health, and the impact it could have for generations to come. I know many who have been struggling (myself included), and I have felt like the issue has barely been covered. Thank you Amy Goodman! You can watch/listen to it here.
I am happy to report a minor victory today! I finally got ahold of my Dad’s doctor to have him fill out the necessary forms for FMLA leave. This is one day after my Dad’s employer said he was considered out of work without approval — and that they would be charging him out-of-pocket for his medical insurance premiums (also meaning he could be terminated).
His leave due to being at high risk for COVID-19 has not yet been approved, but at least he has the proper documentation to submit.
It’s the small victories right now… I’ll take ‘em.
I’ve been trying to help my Dad not lose his job for the past couple weeks. He is 67, with multiple underlying conditions (including a recent lung infection he was hospitalized for). He is a truck driver, who delivers blood and plasma from hospital to hospital — and would be doing so without PPE.
My Dad is also on the less fortunate side of the “digital divide”, in a time where many HR functions, speaking to your doctor, etc. have moved online. So I have been trying to assist him by writing his doctor for regular notes via MyChart. For a while, while he had paid time off that he had accrued — so things were going okay. But once he ran out, he had to apply for leave under the Family Medical Leave Act (basically this ensures you don’t lose your job, but are out on unpaid leave), and was rejected. I won’t go into the blow-by-blow of the whole Kafkaesque nightmare, but it has been hard seeing my Dad give up hope.
I am doing what I can, but the system is very, very broken. And COVID-19 has made all these incredible problems more apparent and palpable. Just wondering how to go about fixing it all…
Today was our very first department meeting since being sheltered in place… it only took us 57 days! Was good to hear from my co-workers and to be given a forum to discuss how we are coping, and what our job-related struggles and needs are.
A few things we talked about worried me… first was that my co-workers are still working out of our office. They are staggering days, but there is zero plan in place for how to socially distance in our office building (we have shared hallways, bathrooms, elevators and other common areas with other businesses). Then, even if things do start to open up, how would we accomplish social distancing that requires multi-business coordination and sanitation? I was also troubled by the amount of revenue we aren’t bringing in (and it doesn’t look like we will bring in this year). Does this mean we could potentially lose our jobs? My boss didn’t know the answer to that, but layoffs have happened at my non-profit in the past during times of economic downturn.
All and all a good meeting though. It was promising to hear my boss talk about our workplace (and businesses in general) becoming more compassionate.
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