Having some complicated feelings today.
I just found out that my Nana has tested positive for COVID-19. She lives in a nursing home in Massachusetts.
I don’t know much more than that right now, or if anyone else on that side of my family has contracted the virus (because they have been in contact with her). Right now I am feeling guilty, because my mother (who I have a strained relationship with) was pestering me the other day to call Nana… and I flipped out on her. She just kept calling and messaging and calling in the middle of my work day and I snapped. (More on my Mom later.)
My feelings about Nana are complicated too — we don’t have much of a relationship. I also struggle with the way she would condone or turn a blind eye to abuse when we were growing up.
Regardless of what has happened in the past, I would never want a family member (or anyone) to go through a health crisis like this. Hence my guilt.
Anyway, that’s all I’ve got for today. Not sure what more to say other than: this is hard.