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Day 33

I started the day off scared and infuriated. Every morning at work, we typically attend something called “Stand Up” — which entails everyone in the office congregating in the lunchroom to read directives from our organization aloud. Not everyone attends, but it is good to do once in a while to make sure you don’t miss any major announcements that the organization slips in.

Since the shelter-in-place began, we were told to read these daily announcements by logging into our organization’s “intranet.” I am not sure I have ever done this, never mind knowing how to do so from home. But today, our office’s Executive Assistant happened to forward it to us. And I just happened to open the attachment.

On the bottom half of the page, couched between other mundane HR blurbs:

“We are excited to announce we will be switching to a new medical carrier!”

…with no other relevant details.

Less than a year ago, they ended all of the HMO plans under our current carrier, so everyone had to move over to a PPO. I just got caught up on transitioning from my HMO plan to a PPO (and fixing all related billing problems) — and now they are changing carriers on us?

These kinds of switches are extremely difficult for people with chronic illnesses, not to mention coping with the uncertainty regarding changes to co-pays, deductibles, co-insurance and out-of-pocket expenses. I easily spent dozens of hours on hold over the past 10 months trying to understand all of my benefit and billing changes.

I also spent thousands on procedures at the beginning of this year thinking that I will reach my out-of-pocket threshold early on, to get less expensive care (minus co-pays, deductibles, co-insurance and out-of-pocket expenses) during the second half of the year. What happens to that “out-of-pocket maximum” now, given that our carrier will change on June 1st?

Reason 1,277,903 why we need Medicare for All now.

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Day 19

Things have been eerily quiet this week. I have received barely any calls or text messages… and all the pings I typically get to help out with this or that project have ceased. I haven’t even heard from my boss, and haven’t seen as much as an email from my co-workers.

I have been trying to stay connected to humankind, despite this isolation; I’ve reached out to friends, started working on this blog, post frequently on social media and even started recording check-in videos. I have been doing all the things one might suggest to work through this time: creating a daily plan so there is some sort of structure to my day, maintaining the work necessary to continue to bring in a paycheck and keep my benefits, exercising everyday, talking to my therapist and psychiatrist, and trying to stay involved with political projects where I can. But I have to be honest that it doesn’t feel like it is helping much. There really is no substitute for sharing physical space with loved ones, and a having sense of community and purpose.

I am deeply concerned, not only about my own emotional well being, but about ours collectively. There is already an incredible lack of access to mental health care, whether it be due to the fact that it isn’t covered by your insurance, it is too expensive (even with insurance), or you don’t have insurance period. And there is still, of course, the stigma surrounding therapy and mental illness. I am not ashamed to say that mental illness is something I have struggled with throughout my life, and I think that everyone could benefit in some way from talking to a therapist.

There couldn’t be a better time than now to make the case for Medicare For All, which would cover both healthcare and mental health costs without any co-pays or out-of-pocket expenses. We desperately need to enact a nationalized health program like this immediately, before the coronavirus (and related policy violence) kills millions and impacts us all for the years and generations to come.

Still from check-in video taken on my walk around Chicago’s Avondale neighborhood today. Watch here: Day 19 check-in video –April 3, 2020

Also in my thoughts today:

♥ All the folks out there sheltering-in-place alone: thank you for making this sacrifice to keep yourself and others safe and healthy.

♥ All those struggling with mental health issues right now: you’re not alone! Please feel free to reach out if you need to talk (and I could definitely use folks to talk to about this as well).

♥ All those with strained family relationships: I know how hard it can be when you have hard boundaries with family members, or very little close family to speak of. It is important to do whatever you need to do to stay sane and protect yourself. And remember: you still have the chance to find people to be a part of your chosen “family” (if you weren’t dealt the best family cards to begin with).

♥ All those struggling with abusive relationships: I know how difficult it is when you are forced to stay in unsafe living situations, or when you must rely upon people who are hurting you in some way (physically and/or mentally). It is so fucking hard, and there is no simple answer as to what you should do. Just don’t forget your worth, and reach out to anyone who might be able to help (including me — shana@shanaeast.com).